Not Present

This isn’t where I wanted to be
At the end of my life
When I began it

This wasteland of broken dreams and thwarted promise
That I strived so hard to avoid
By working so intently
In my father’s footsteps
To make the difference that he craved

Only to fall prey
To the heartless predator within me
Ready to pounce on any false move
Made as I tire from all the running

All my life I have yearned to feel good
But never could
So long as I feared what was lying in wait
This terrible fate
When all is lost
All is consumed
Null and void

Life as a ghost
Not knowing what’s real
What can be trusted
In this melee of recollections
Rendered meaningless
In the fading light
Where nothing can grow
Without blight